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Monday, March 25, 2013

Q: The Winged Serpent (1982)

Long before he was Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone on Law & Order Michael Moriarty had a lucrative career in terrible horror movies.  He may be famous for playing a hard hitting lawyer in the early seasons of L&O but I will always remember him in great roles as that guy in Q and that guy in It’s Alive 3: Isle of The Alive.

  • Actors: David Carradine, Michael Moriarty, Candy Clark, Richard Roundtree, James Dixon
  • Directors: Larry Cohen
  • Writers: Larry Cohen
  • Producers: Larry Cohen, Dick Di Bona, Don Sandburg, Paul Kurta, Peter Sabiston
  • Format: Anamorphic, Color, Dolby, DTS Surround Sound, NTSC, Widescreen
  • Language: English (Dolby Digital 6.1 EX)
  • Region: All Regions
  • Rated: R (Restricted)
  • Studio: Blue Underground
  • DVD Release Date: August 26, 2003
  • Run Time: 93 minutes
  • New York police are bemused by a spate of reports of a giant flying lizard that has been spotted around the rooftops of New York, which they assume to be bogus until the lizard starts to eat people.  An out-of-work, ex-con piano player is the only person who knows the location of the monster's nest and is determined to turn the knowledge to his advantage, but will his gamble pay off or will he end up as lizard food?

    Genre pioneer Larry Cohen, who broke new horror ground with the killer-baby hit It's Alive!, takes a stab at the giant-monster scenario with this enjoyable low-budget exercise.  The title refers to the winged Aztec god Quetzalcoatl, represented here as a dragon-like flying lizard (thanks to some quaint but amusing stop-motion animation from David Allen), who decides to take up residence in the art-deco spire of the Chrysler Building, taking frequent jaunts in the midday sun to nip the heads off various hapless New Yorkers.  The resulting bloody mess confounds detectives Shepard (David Carradine) and Powell (Richard Roundtree), who are already scratching their heads over a series of bizarre ritual murders linked to a secret Aztec cult.  Into the picture comes the film's protagonist -- neurotic, sweaty, paranoid crook Jimmy Quinn (Michael Moriarty, in a tour-de-force performance), a two-bit wheel-man with aspirations of becoming a jazz pianist.  After a botched diamond heist leads Quinn to Q's lair, his attempts to go straight take a side-turn  as he decides to extort from the city an enormous sum in exchange for directions to the monster's nest.  A few sneaky deals later, the location falls into Shepard's hands, and he leads a paramilitary assault on the Chrysler Building, where the creature's humongous egg is about to hatch.  Rude, edgy, fast-paced, and peppered with witty dialogue (most of which can't be repeated here), Cohen's script retains the spirit of classic monster movies like The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, injecting it with tough, gangster-movie moxie.  Moriarty's unbelievable performance -- one of three collaborations with Cohen -- finds him chewing acres of scenery as a contemptible, loud-mouthed goon who's too funny to hate; Moriarty also composed and performed two schizophrenic piano numbers for the film.

    The movie was shot on location in and around New York city's Chrysler Building and uses the interior of the building's tower crown as a primary location.  The original music score was composed by Robert O. Ragland.  The film was marketed with the tagline "It's [sic] name is Quetzalcoatl... just call it Q, that's all you'll have time to say before it tears you apart!"  The film poster's glossy monster illustration was painted by science fiction/fantasy artist Boris Vallejo.

    The film was given a limited release theatrically in the United States by United Film Distribution Company in October 1982. It grossed approximately $255,000 at the box office.  The film was later released on VHS by MCA/Universal Home Video.  It was released on DVD by Blue Underground in 2003.


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    Wednesday, January 9, 2013

    Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)

    Oh Troma Entertainment, you never disappoint me when I need something weird to talk about.

    Directed by Peter George

    Produced by Robert Tinnell

    Written by Jon Ayre

    Starring:
    Gail Neely
    Barry Brenner
    Robert Harden
    Tom Demenkoff

    Music by Jon McCallum

    Cinematography Rolf Kestermann

    Editing by Craig A. Colton

    Distributed by Troma Entertainment

    Running time - 83 minutes

    Surf Nazis Must Die is a 1987 American comedy film directed by Peter George and starring Gail Neely, Barry Brenner, and Robert Harden. It was produced by The Institute, a production company formed by Peter George, Craig A. Colton and Robert Tinnell, and distributed by Troma Entertainment, a company known for its low-budget exploitation films.

    Leeroy's Mama An earthquake leaves the California coastline in ruins and reduces the beaches to a state of chaos. A group of Neo-Nazis led by Adolf (Brenner), the self-proclaimed "Führer of the new beach," takes advantage of the resulting chaos by fighting off several rival surfer gangs to seize control of the beaches. Meanwhile, an African American oil well worker named Leroy (Harden) is killed by the Nazis while jogging on the beach. Leroy's mother "Mama" Washington (Neely), devastated by the loss of her son, vows revenge. After arming herself with a handgun and grenades, she breaks out of her retirement home and sets out to exact bloody vengeance on the Surf Nazis.

    The Fuhrer I re-watched this film earlier today and afterward considered going with a different movie, perhaps Poultrygeist or Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. but decided against it so I could torture myself with those films at a later date, I mean reserve the right to discuss and share the brilliance of those masterpieces of cinema at a future time if you all can behave yourselves.  Damn it I sat through Surf Nazis and if I had to suffer so should you. 

    As usual this film is up to the high standards you would expect from a Troma movie but if you are watching a Troma movie you are not expecting Oscar award winning anything from it.  The above blurb pretty much covers everything you need to know about the plot.  What is surprising is that the acting is better than most films in the Troma vault.  If you accept the goofy nature of the film then the characters become believable.  The backstory of how the world got this way seems to be missing some details but in all it explains what it needs to.

    If you are the curious type then you can watch the film in it’s entirety at youtube.  Troma released most of their catalogue to the internet over the past couple of years.  This is a fun film but be ready for some gory scenes when Leeroy’s Mom gets her revenge on the Surf Nazis.

     


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    How not to make a werewolf movie

    If you have been following you are already aware of my deep love and respect for the majestic werewolf.  If there was one mythological beast I hope is real this would be the one.  Today we will delve into that special combination of budget, script, effects and acting that can suck the life out what should be a simple formula for terror.
    I will be avoiding the various arguments of humanoid vs. quadruped, behavior and killing method that seem to span the current breed of werewolves in cinema, did you see what I did there with ‘breed’, and just stick to the basic universal rules of lycanthropy. 
    1. Character gets infected and isn’t aware that he/she is.
    2. Character transforms and doesn’t particularly care for it.
    3. Friends and loved ones are placed in jeopardy.
    4. Everyone dies violently.
    5. Werewolf either gets killed or vanishes into the darkness to kill again in the sequel.
    Now an otherwise great werewolf movie can be brought to a sudden stop by something as simple as a bad makeup design.  Using the most excellent film “The Howling” by Joe Dante as my example I wish to demonstrate what I mean.  Keep in mind this is the same movie and the same effects department creating the very different looks of two of the characters.
    This is a werewolf
    This is a Pomeranian
    After a movie full of some of the best looking werewolves that 1981 had to offer, they end the movie with Dee Wallace turning into Chewbacca.  But I’m not here to tarnish this wonderful film.  I’m here to show two examples of screwing up a simple horror movie concept.




    War Wolves (2009)

    War Wolves is a 2009 television movie that originally aired on the Syfy network on March 8, 2009. The film stars John Saxon and Michael Worth, who also serves as the film's director.
    Jack Ford leads a special forces unit back to the United States to hunt down Jake Gabriel, a soldier who has been infected with the werewolf virus that turns man into wolf. Little does Jack know that three of the female soldiers serving in his unit have also been infected and have already transformed into she-wolves. The she-wolves' forces of evil and Ford's special op forces of good, are pitted against each other in the race to save mankind from turning into wolves.
    Oh boy, where to start?  Staring and Directed by the same guy is never a good sign.  How about SyFy original, which usually means done for $20 and lunch.  But I have seen some great films done cheap so maybe this one will be…
    Sweet Jeebus!  Really?!  The makeup is really just plastic ears and teeth, contacts and black greasepaint on the end of her nose?  There is no way it can all look this bad.  They had to make the male werewolf better.
    Ah…Bad picture, maybe a different angle.
    Holy Crap!  Yep, and it only goes downhill from there.  Fight sequences over-use that Matrix bullet time effect and flight by wire so the jumps are epic and acrobatic.  Dialogue is delivered by growling but the ill fitting plastic teeth also make the actors slobber so every line is this weird gravelly lispy spit projecting overdone emoting monologue.  Last but not least, let’s look at the character descriptions:
    • Michael Worth as Jake Gabriel who had left his former comrades behind and uses alcohol and drugs to suppress the urges and changes his body is undergoing. He coins the alias Lawrence Talbot, the name of the original Wolfman
    • Natasha Alam as Erika Moore Jake's love interest and leader of the wolves in Jake's absence, she attempts to convert the reluctant Jake into embracing his wolf side and turning against the humans.
    • John Saxon as Tony Ford an aging military General in hunt of the wolves. Detached from his family due to his lengthy, seemingly endless work.
    • Tim Thomerson as Frank Bergman Ford's assistant, a rambunctious old man who seems to make light of about any situation. He is Tony's opposite and best friend.
    • Adrienne Barbeau as Gail a woman who has taken Jake in, she attends an AA group at the local church which Jake attends as well. She is a very insightful woman who regales stories of "her" Kenny and provides profound insight, mixed with a little belief in Men in Black, Sasquatch, Aliens etc.
    They just had to invoke Lon Chaney Jr. not that it lends any respect to the film.  There are so many clichés and recycled plot points in this film I don’t think there is anything original in the whole 104 minutes.


    Half Moon (2010)

    "Half Moon" tells the story of a city gripped with fear because of a man killing prostitutes. When down on her luck prostitute Rose (Shellie Chapman aka Tori Black) goes to a hotel to meet a man who seems like the perfect guy things soon change and she suspects he could be the killer ...or worse a Werewolf.
    When I first became aware of this film I thought it could be a great film.  There is a Jack the Ripper killing working girls, Rose meets Jacob at the hotel and after a few hours of just talking lets her guard down.  When Jacob goes to the bathroom she opens the duffle bag he brought and finds it full of S&M gear and weapons.  After handcuffing him to a chair the mystery of whether he is the serial killer or not begins to play out all the while trying to not reveal what he really is.  I believed this could be the best idea I had heard for a werewolf movie.  Not really sure if our character really is infected or just insane.  Unfortunately, there is so much wrong with this movie I actually only watched twenty minutes of it and then jumped to the end for the forty seconds of werewolf…blurry, fun fur wearing werewolf.
    You would think the problem would be Tori Black since adult film actresses are not known for their acting ability but she did a great job.  As I recall this film only has two locations, the street where Rose hears about the job and the hotel room so money got saved there.  The pacing and dialogue feels so far off my head hurt after only the twenty minutes I gave it.  There are stretches where Rose and Jacob are talking about absolutely nothing and it feels like the cameraman just let the camera roll while the two characters made up their own awkward lines.
    I wanted this to be a good film both because I thought the plot sounded interesting and I wanted Tori Black to deliver a performance so amazing it made people rethink their prejudice toward adult film actors.  Too bad I was wrong.


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