DNDF: Metalsploitation

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Saturday, September 7, 2013

DNDF: Metalsploitation

KISS, Alice Cooper, GWAR and Lordi are just a few of the bands that have made the connection between Hard Rock and horror.  Tonight we are going to talk about a few movies that also make the connection but while the mentioned bands do it well, these films are enjoyably terrible.  Yes, I know there are a few films that also do it right but as the subtitle says up there, great things about terrible movies.  So put those lighters in the air and get out your cans of AquaRock because it’s mostly horror from the Eighties, Hell Yeah!

Rocktober Blood (1984)

  • Directed: Beverly Sebastian
  • Produced:
    • Tony Rista 
    • Beverly Sebastian 
    • Ferd Sebastian
  • Written: Beverly Sebastian, Ferd Sebastian
  • Starring: Tray Loren, Donna Scoggins, Cana Cockrell
  • Music: Richard Smokey Taylor
  • Cinematography: Ferd Sebastian
  • Editing: Ferd Sebastian
  • Studio: Sebastian International Pictures
  • Distributed: Vestron VHS
  • Rated:
  • Release Date: 1984
  • Running Time: 93 minutes
  • Country: United States
  • Language: English

The film opens in a recording studio, where Billy "Eye" Harper, (Tray Loren), is working on a few tracks with his band and his girlfriend/back up singer, (Donna Scoggins), after he finishes the recording, Billy and the rest of the band leave.  Despite trying to record her own vocal tracks, Lynn is left to herself to go up to the Jacuzzi upstairs, after refusing Kevin (Kevin Eddy) the recording engineer's offer to join her.  Meanwhile "Billy" returns to the studio, where he finds only Kevin and Mary (Mary Well), Kevin's assistant.  In an enigmatic move, "Billy" kills Kevin by slitting his throat, and impaling Mary on a wall-mounted coat peg.  When Lynn returns she finds Billy smoking some drugs at the recording studio's control panel.  Unbeknownst to Lynn, Billy had just killed both Kevin and Mary while she was gone.  Once Lynn finds out that however, she is luckily saved by some security guards.  After a brief intermission, we are taken to 2 years later, where it is revealed that Billy was captured, tried, and executed.

It is now the "Rocktober Blood Tour Press Party", and Lynn and the remaining band members are touring as Headmistress.  A VJ who interviews Lynn, asks several questions about the band's tour, as well as Billy's fall from grace.  To which Lynn responds that "Identifying Billy was the hardest thing she ever had to do."  A mysterious figure then appears in a Halloween "death" mask, and tells Lynn to meet with Chris (Nigel Benjamin), the band's manager, in the office.  When she arrives in the office, she is cornered by Billy in the said death mask, who leaves her curled up, and crying on the floor.  After that, Billy persistently stalks Lynn, killing people involved with her along the way, but hiding the bodies of Lynn's friends, to make others think she's crazy by claiming that Billy was after her.  Eventually Honey (Cana Cockrell), convinces Lynn to dig up Billy's grave.  They find out that, Billy is dead, and Lynn assumes that she's hallucinating. 

The next night, Lynn and the band are getting ready for the show, when Billy reappears, and tells Lynn that he's really his own twin brother, John Harper, and that she identified the wrong man.  John tells Lynn that the people he killed valued Billy more than him, even though he wrote the renowned songs himself.  Then John chloroforms Lynn's mouth, and the show begins.  A prop coffin pops up on the stage, and Lynn is reveled inside.  John tells her that his plan is to kill her as the show's grand finale.  When John removes his mask however, security rushes in attacking him with an electric guitar.

The songs "Killer on the loose" "I’m Back" and "Watching you" on the soundtrack were by the band Sorcery who also play the Headmistress band in the finale.  "Kcab Mi" is "I’m Back" in reverse. "Touch me" "High school boys" "Watch me rock" "Rainbow eyes" and "Can't kill rock n’ roll" are by Facedown.  "Soul Searcher" was performed by The Eyes.  There was also a brief tour by Sorcery in support of the movie and soundtrack.

Hard Rock Zombies (1985)

  • Directed: Krishna Shah
  • Produced:
    • Steve Golin 
    • Shashi Patel 
    • Krishna Shah 
    • Sigurjon Sighvatsson
  • Written: David Allen Ball, Krishna Shah
  • Starring: E.J. Curcio, Sam Mann, Geno Andrews, Mick Mc Mains, Lisa Toothman, Ted Wells, Crystal Shaw
  • Music: Paul Sabu
  • Cinematography: Tom Richmond
  • Editing: Amit Bose
  • Studio: Patel/Shah Film Company
  • Distributed:
    • Cannon Film Distributors 
    • Blue Laser Films 
    • Vestron Video 
    • Vintage Home Entertainment
  • Rated:
  • Release Date: 4 September 1985
  • Running Time: 98 minutes
  • Country: United States
  • Language: English

Essentially a feature-length music video featuring one of the most horrendous, awful heavy metal acts in the history of hairspray and studded leather, this hilarious horror dud involves a band of hard-rockin' boneheads whose concert tour includes a stopover in a hick town where the inbred denizens are less than hospitable.  After being collectively lynched by the local populace, the band members manage a comeback of sorts -- apparently summoned by the spirit of oppressed metalheads everywhere -- and put paid to the hapless crackers.  The filmmakers manage to throw every bad MTV and zombie-movie cliché into the pot (there's even a cameo appearance by Adolf Hitler), which helps alleviate some of the tedium, but there is nothing coherent enough to hold the wacky elements together...aside from the band's hideous musical numbers, which seem to improve somewhat after their collective deaths.

The movie follows the rock group, Holy Moses, hoping to strike it big on a recent concert tour, which despite warnings from a little girl named Cassie, will continue on to a little hick town called Grand Guignol.  The town is completely hostile to the idea of having rock and roll pervade their small town sensibilities and immediately go full-on Gestapo on the band.  Not surprising considering the town turns out to be run by Adolf Hitler, a lycanthrope Eva Braun, their blonde bombshell daughter who kills men for pleasure, and their pair of midget-goblin grandchildren.

Apparently viewing the rockers as an eminent threat to the Fourth Reich, Hitler has the band killed.  Luckily for the band, they recently discovered an ancient bass chord that can raise the dead, and have this chord used to bring them back from the grave and take their revenge on the town - and have their concert, of course.  Along the way, we get to see several extended music video style sequences, extended nudity from Hitler’s daughter, and one of the midget-goblin things eat itself…and one of the creepiest romance subplots ever between Cassie, the little girl who warned them about coming to town and Holy Moses’ lead singer.  How I wish I was joking about the pedophilia.

Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987)

  • Directed: John Fasano
  • Produced: Jon Mikl Thor
  • Written: Jon Mikl Thor
  • Starring: Jon Mikl Thor, Jillian Peri, Teresa Simpson, Frank Dietz, Lara Daans
  • Music: Jon Mikl Thor
  • Cinematography: Mark Mackay
  • Editing: Robert Williams
  • Studio: Thunder
  • Distributed:
    • Shapiro Entertainment 
    • Academy Entertainment
  • Rated:
  • Release Date: July 1987
  • Running Time: 83 minutes
  • Country: Canada
  • Language: English

Hard to believe but he's single ladies! Recording some new music in an isolated farmhouse, the band Triton gets more than they bargained for when something horrifying stirs in the darkness.  Eternal evil haunts this place and the band members start turning into demons from Hell itself!  After a day of making music – and making love – this band is starting to break up… one by one… limb by limb.  The bands lead singer, John (Jon-Mikl Thor) Triton, holds the key to defeating this horror once and for all – a secret that culminates in a melee battle between good and evil!  Triton versus the Devil himself!

Production began in 1986 and the film had a budget of $100,000 and was shot in seven days.  Originally titled The Edge of Hell, the filming was set to last ten days, but one of the producers had to shorten production due to a death in the family.  The director used many  friends as actors and the film was filmed in Ontario.  The film had its title changed to help sell it in other markets.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare has got everything that makes a good b-movie: cool music, campy actors, goofy humor, silly looking latex monsters, lots of nudity and a completely ridiculous deus-ex-machina twist in the end.  If you’re looking for the perfect film to watch on a Saturday evening with a handful of your pals and two crates of beer, Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare is an almost perfect choice!


Black Roses (1988)

  • Directed: John Fasano
  • Produced: Cindy Cirile
  • Written: Cindy Sorrell
  • Starring: Julie Adams, Carmine Appice, Carla Ferrigno, John Martin, Ken Swofford
  • Music: Elliot Solomon
  • Cinematography: Paul Mitchnick
  • Editing: Ray van Doorn
  • Studio: Shapiro-Glickenhaus Entertainment
  • Distributed:
    • Shapiro Entertainment 
    • Facets Multimedia Distribution 
    • Synapse Films
  • Rated:
  • Release Date: 1 November 1988
  • Running Time: 90 minutes
  • Country: United States
  • Language: English

A new rock n’ roll band plays at a sleepy town called Mill Basin, causing the town's kids to turn into rockers. However, what the town doesn't know is that the band is also turning kids into demonic monsters.  The soundtrack features many prominent bands at the time such as King Kobra, Tempest, Hallow's Eve, Lizzy Borden, among others.  Most of the music for the band "Black Roses" was performed by the members of King Kobra, with Mark Free on vocals, and Carmine Appice on drums.  And that is all the information I can find on this film.  Eight different sites all using the same description from IMDB.

Attitude for Destruction (2008)

  • Directed: Ford Austin
  • Produced:
    • Chris Beal
    • Brian Perera
    • David S. Sterling
  • Written:
    • Jeremiah Campbell
    • David S. Sterling
  • Starring: Mike Murga, Monte Hunter, Simon Burzynski, Jed Rowen, Annmarie Lynn Gracey
  • Music:
    • Dopesnake 
    • Drama Addict 
    • Hollywood Roses
  • Editing: Jason Peri
  • Studio: Cleopatra
  • Distributed: Music Video Distributors
  • Rated: NR
  • Release Date: 2 April 2008
  • Running Time: 80 minutes
  • Country: United States
  • Language: English

A murdered rocker returns from the grave to seek vengeance against the band-mates who buried him in this bloody tale of heavy metal horror from director Ford Austin (The Curse of Lizzie Borden and Gothic Vampires from Hell). Hollywood Roses is a Sunset Strip band about to break big.  Diamond Star Records recognizes Hollywood Roses' potential, but refuse to sign the band as long as tempestuous front man Drake is standing center stage.

Determined not to let Drake stand between themselves and superstardom, the remaining members of Hollywood Roses murder the singer and casually dispose of the body.  Unfortunately for them, Drake's girlfriend strikes a pack with the Devil that allows her lover to return from the afterlife on a mission of death.  Now, with his life already taken and nothing left to lose, Drake sets out to spill some guts and take revenge on the band that attempted to ride his corpse to the top of the charts.

Why is it the older the movie the less obscure it seems to be with information just waiting to be discovered?

The Half-Life Horror from Hell or: Irradiated Satan Rocks the World!

  • Directed: Mark Mackner
  • Produced:
    • Rob Kulb 
    • Stephen Felt 
    • Eric Knoll
  • Written: Mark Mackner
  • Starring: Christian Hess, Michelle Santiago, Sarah French, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Cory Kastle, Randall McCann, Scott Bell, Meagan Rumberger, Michael Krause, Doug Layne, Rocky Ciarrocchi, Roxie Cotton, Melanie Slavinski, Ally Cat, Mark Mackner
  • Music: Cedric Crouch
  • Cinematography: Mark Mackner
  • Editing: Mark Mackner
  • Studio:
    • Powder Day Productions 
    • Monstros Madre
  • Rated: NR
  • Running Time: 115 minutes
  • Country: United States
  • Language: English

This may be cheating since the movie has not been released yet but if there was ever a film I needed to see this would be it.  The more research I did on this film the more I wanted to witness it, like I really need a reason to want to see the lovely Sarah French do anything.

The newest offering from Master Filmmaker Mark Mackner! Welcome to Personburg, PA!  Where crime, corruption, incest, Voodoo, Satan, and Heavy Metal reign supreme!

A mysterious glowing monster is savagely attacking citizens of a small town on the eve of a huge televised metal concert.  But what connection does this creature have to the old nuclear plant?  And the band, Irradiated Satan? And the local crime boss?  And... the Mayor?  HOW HIGH DOES THIS THING GO????

A low-level crook and his hot, recreational drug enthusiast hippie chick friend aim to find out!  With the help of the drunken town Sheriff and an eccentric Native American Shaman, they'll encounter Satanic priests, Voodoo hoodoo, scheming incestuous half-siblings, and a radioactive menace as they seek to uncover the truth, and save the very fabric of society as we know it in the process!

If you love action, horror, comedy, romance, black magic, and METAL, then this is the film you've been waiting for your WHOLE LIFE!  THE HALF-LIFE HORROR FROM HELL or: IRRADIATED SATAN ROCKS THE WORLD!  The title too big for a FB fan page!  The filmmaker too talented to spend another day in anonymity!  The movie too offensive for the Bible Belt!  The experience too powerful to miss!

"Radiation... the weapon of TERROR!  Voodoo... the method of REANIMATION!  Heavy Metal... the tool of SATAN! Shape-shifting Shamanism... the LAST HOPE FOR HUMANITY!"

Acclaimed playwright MARK MACKNER, author and director of such Philly underground theater classics as "WAKE UP, PADDINGTON, YOU WORTHLESS SHIT!", "TELEPATHIC, ALCOHOLIC TEENAGE PUNK ROCK PSYCHO SLUTS!", and "LEOPARD GIRL vs. SOUL SUCKER IN THE EVOLUTIONARY ARENA OF DOOM!" made the leap to film last year, with his already legendary short "DAISY DERKINS, DOGSITTER OF THE DAMNED!" "HALF-LIFE" marks his feature directing debut!  Excelsior!

According to various sources this film is completed but for some reason not released, and that needs to be changed.  I’m not joking when I say I want to see this.

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