Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

Warning: Today’s article contains subject matter that could be construed as blasphemy.  If you are offended by religious humor then now would be a good time to move on to another website for the day.

Actors: Josh Grace, Murielle Varhelyi
Directors: Lee Gordon Demarbre
Format: AC-3, Blu-ray, Color, Dolby, NTSC
Language: English
Rated: Unrated
Studio: Mvd Visual
DVD Release Date: October 28, 2008
Run Time: 85 minutes

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a 2001 cult film from Odessa Filmworks which deals with Jesus' modern-day struggle to protect the lesbians of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, from vampires with the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo (based on El Santo, Enmascarado de Plata, and played by actor Jeff Moffet, who starred as El Santo in two other Odessa Filmworks productions).

This film earned an honorable mention in the Spirit of Slamdance category at the 2002 Slamdance Film Festival.

The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbor."  The third testament KICKS ASS!  The filmmaking team that brought you Harry Knuckles and won the "Spirit of Slamdance" prize with Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy ups the ante with this tale of the ultimate action hero: Jesus Christ.  The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth.  But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight.  Combining kung-fu action with biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humor, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics.  And did we mention that it's a musical?  This sure ain't Sunday School.

The movie begins with Jesus Christ sitting on a beach relaxing and comparing the kingdom of God to a sand castle.  He meets up with El Santo and a woman named Mary Magnum.  Together they fight lesbian-killing vampires.  Jesus fights with mixed martial arts skills and uses his carpentry skills to create weapons to slay vampires.

Time's Richard Corliss panned the film, finding that "the comedy is slack, the song lyrics feeble, the pace torpid".  Ken Eisner of Variety took a more neutral view, finding that "the film is too silly to offend".  Jason Nolan of The Harrow deemed the production "horridly wonderful" although uneven, noting that "with a film like this, you want it to be bumpy".  Film Threat's Eric Campos gave the film a generally positive review.

Amen!


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