Yeah, I know this is a few days late but, well, ya know...demons, werewolves, government agencies all trying to keep the truth about romantic horror movies out of the hands of the people. So without further ado or excuses, grab the one you love, adjust the bondage gear and bask in the warm glow of horror for blackest of all holidays...Valentine's!
 | Actors: Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil Affleck, Keith Knight (II), Alf Humphreys Directors: George Mihalka Format: Anamorphic, Closed-captioned, Color, DVD-Video, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC Language: English, French Subtitles: English Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.) Number of discs: 1 Rating:  Studio: Paramount DVD Release Date: September 3, 2002 Run Time: 90 minutes |
"I recently compiled an Amazon list of the Top 10 Slasher Films Before the 90's. I placed MY BLOODY VALENTINE in the #7 slot. Upon watching it again, I realize that I should've placed it higher. Several other titles were ahead of it, including TERROR TRAIN, PROM NIGHT, and APRIL FOOL'S DAY. Those were all very good examples of the slasher genre, but I don't think any of them rival MY BLOOD VALENTINE for sheer fright, excitement, and novelty.
Start with an interesting setting. Rather than a college campus or high school, we have a bleak, blue-collar mining town. Instead of free-wheeling students or teenagers we have working class twentysomethings pushing thirty. Then add a creepy backstory: a mining accident that entombed and killed all but one of a handful of miners. That survivor, Harry Warden, had to resort to cannibalism until he was rescued, messing him up for eternity and a day. The next year, on Valentine's Day, he returned (in full miner's garb with pick-axe) and brutally murdered the two supervisors who inadverdently caused the accident. He then cut their hearts out and sent it to the dance with a warning never to have another Valentine's dance.
Flash forward to the present. The townspeople are contemplating the first dance in twenty years. Naturally, a series of murders begin, with the victim's hearts cut out. Alarmed, the police decide to cancel the dance. Undeterred, the young folk decide to have a secret party (at the mine's cafeteria). And that's when the real fun begins. Some highlights: a dude's face scalded in a huge pot of boiling water, and his cut-out heart being thrown in with the franks (yum), a girl getting her head impaled on a shower head (no repetition intended), and the local drunk becoming the victim of his own practical joke.
Of course, no film (slasher or otherwise) would be set around Valentine's day without having a romantic supplot, and MY BLOODY VALENTINE is no exception. We're introduced to Axel and T.J., two former friends now duking it out for the affections of Sarah (Lori Hallier, in the film's best performance). This triangle could've been more fully developed, but it was sufficient enought to keep the audience interested. Who will get Sarah? Axel or T.J.? And as the murders multiply (and intensify) the question becomes "What does Harry Warden want?" Is it even him? Or someone else?
Watch this flick and find out. There's a great final act set in the darkened mine, with an extended cat and mouse chase scene between the killer and T.J. and Sarah. This last half-hour rivals anything in HALLOWEEN. Scary last scene, too.
Bottom line? Craftsmanship-wise, MY BLOODY VALENTINE is no HALLOWEEN, but in some ways, it's scarier. " -- "goodboygonebadd" (FPO, AE United States) - Amazon.com
I was but a wee little lad when this hit the big screen, and a wee big old man last time I watched it via cable. Time has not been kind to the monster in this movie. In 1980-whatever a guy in full mining garb was creepy, in 2008 it's just hokey. There are a few jump out of your seat moments, and the action is pretty good but the slasher was far creepier way back when.
 | Actors: Katherine Heigl, Marley Shelton, Johnny Whitworth, Hedy Burress, Jessica Capshaw Format: Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, DVD-Video, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC Language: English Subtitles: English, French Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.) Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1 Number of discs: 1 Rating: Studio: Warner Home Video DVD Release Date: July 24, 2001 Run Time: 96 minutes |
"I think Valentine is a vastly underrated, thrilling horror movie. At its root, it is obviously a slasher film, but this movie features great pacing, true suspense, quite effective musical transitions, and, most importantly, a terrific finish. Valentine not only has a recognizable plot, it incorporates some dandy instances of symmetry that really help tie everything together in the end. I wish I could tell you just how satisfying the ending is. I had my suspicions about the identity of the killer, but several late twists made me doubt my theory, change it, and finally just applaud the filmmakers for essentially keeping me in the dark up until the very end. I know the clues are there all along, and many people may discover the secret well before the final revelation, but this experienced horror fan was kept off-balance throughout. I also have to admit that this movie made me jump a couple of times (and I can't say that about very many horror movies). With significant help from the musical score, suspenseful scenes were really presented well-just long enough to make you grit your teeth but not long enough to become tiresome. In trailers, the movie looks like another Scream (and there are definite similarities), but Valentine stands head and shoulders above the great majority of slasher films.
A lot of horror films feature attractive women, but Valentine is in a class all by itself. What you get here is Katherine Heigl, Marley Shelton, Jessica Cauffiel, the charming Jessica Capshaw, and-drum roll please-Denise Richards. Denise Richards is absolutely stunning in this movie-the smoldering, sultry looks, the prayer-answering hot tub scene, and the bedroom scene I won't even attempt to describe. Watching the creepy old detective put the moves on her is rather comical, but you can't blame the guy for trying.
I must say I really love the killer in this movie. While the concept of the masked killer is far from original, the cherub mask is a cool, creepy look. This killer also enjoys variety, employing a number of different, equally effective implements of death. He works his way up from your basic knife across the throat and crossbow to broken shards of glass and a couple of really innovative weapons. No two deaths are remotely alike, and you can just tell how much the killer enjoys his/her work. The DVD's energetic club reel of Orgy's song Opticon is great, but I would caution you not to watch it before watching the movie because it does give a little away in terms of who lives and who dies.
Valentine has almost everything I want in a horror movie-a creepy killer, gorgeous actresses, all manner of killings, miscellaneous laughs, an actual plot of some complexity, nail-biting suspense, and a less than obvious ending that totally satisfied this horror fan. I would not have objected to some nudity, but this movie really doesn't need it. It's hot, it's sizzling, it's sexy, it's smart, it's a carnival of murderous delight. You won't find many slasher films better than Valentine." -- Daniel Jolley "darkgenius" (Shelby, North Carolina USA) - Amazon.com
If they just stop putting David Boreanaz in front of the camera, maybe he will just go away. Yes, we know he plays Angel, it isn't necessary to remind us six times in the course of 96 minutes; that's once every 16 minutes for those of you keeping score. He is like watching a cardboard cutout of David Boreanaz trying to act. The babe potential will keep the guys happy and if you like looking at Boreanaz then you shall be happy too, just don't be surprised if you see "it" coming though.
"How far will you go for true love? After pledging their undying love for one another, happy newlyweds Danny (Graham Sibley) and Denise (Tracy Coogan) head to the Jersey Shore for their honeymoon. The romantic start to their new life is cut short when Danny is attacked on the beach and Denise discovers that her new husband has become a flesh eating zombie! As he tries to contain his cannibalistic behavior for the sake of their marriage, Denise decides to stand by her man "for better or worse". But will Danny's decay eventually cause Denise to forsake her true love? One part horror flick and one part romantic comedy, Zombie Honeymoon is guaranteed to first melt your heart, and then tear it out! Written and Directed by Dave Gebroe." -- Amazon.com
I was torn between featuring this film here or saving it for a "It Came From IFC" column. Maybe I'm becoming a movie snob, maybe I just like it when filmmakers think outside the box but, this is one of the more original ideas I have come across in awhile. Watching the traditional newlyweds bickering scene about when the bride catches her husband eating the mailman in the bathtub is a sight to behold. This film is funny and scary and you quickly develop feelings for our main characters.
 | Actors: Tom Tryon, Gloria Talbott, Peter Baldwin, Robert Ivers, Chuck Wassil Directors: Gene Fowler Jr. Format: Black & White, Closed-captioned, DVD-Video, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC Language: English Subtitles: English Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.) Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1 Number of discs: 1 Rating:  Studio: Paramount DVD Release Date: September 14, 2004 Run Time: 78 minutes |
"I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE tells the story of a race of monster-like aliens from another planet who try to conquer Earth by taking over a small town, inhabiting the bodies of prominent citizens and trying to impregnate the women. After one newlywed woman (Talbott) becomes suspicious of her husband when she sees him turn into a monster, the entire town begins to rise to the threat of conquest by the aliens." -- Amazon.com
As with any film from this era, it's all about the commies. I only had one question, what kind of disaster wipes out only one sex across the whole planet?
 | Actors: I Married a Vampire Format: Color, DVD-Video, NTSC Language: English Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.) Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1 Number of discs: 1 Rating:  Studio: Legacy Entertainment Inc. DVD Release Date: October 9, 2007 Run Time: 86 minutes |
"Viola, a voluptuous, innocent young girl trying to make it alone, encounters one terrible episode after another. She meets Olivia who introduces Viola to her brother Robespiere. Then suddenly the "witching hour" Robespiere collapses and his transformation begins." -- Amazon.com
Normally I love low-budget films, this one I did not. Thin plot, overused imagery and poor acting and effects make this more of a chore than a pleasure.
 | Actors: Kent McCord, James T. Callahan, Sarah Douglas, Melinda Clarke, Abigail Lenz Directors: Brian Yuzna Format: Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, DVD-Video, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC Language: English, French Subtitles: English, French, Spanish Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.) Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Number of discs: 1 Rating: Studio: Lions Gate DVD Release Date: August 28, 2001 Run Time: 97 minutes |
"In 1993 horror fans were greeted with the release of Return of the Living Dead III. This third film in the Return of the Living Dead series produced by John Russo ends up being a very good zombie movie and actually has genuine horror that the second film lacked. What ROTLDIII, its writers and directors seem to have left behind was the comedy side of the series which made them cult-classics to begin with.
Taking up directing duty this time around was genre-veteran Brian Yuzna (Beyond Re-Animator) who films this third film purely on a horror standpoint. This film is serious horror from start to finish. This time around the military is still trying to find a way to use 2-4-5 Trioxin as a way to create zombie soldiers, but ones that could be easily controlled by them. To say that this project hasn't met with success was an understatement. But it's the story of the son of the military project director and his girlfriend who dominate the film's plot. As portrayed by James T. Callahan and Melinda Clarke, these two star-crossed lovers find themselves enmeshed with the dark secret of the project being held in secret. Son soon uses the Trioxin gas to try and ressurect his girlfriend who gets killed early on during an accident. What he gets instead is an undead girlfriend whose hunger for live brains (for some reason the zombies in this ROTLD sequel also feed on other bodily parts) can only be controlled when she causes herself bodily pain through extreme forms of piercing. The rest of the film deals with the father trying to save his son not just from himself and his undead girlfriend but from the hordes of escaped zombies in the facility.
The horror in the film was actually pretty good and this was helped alot by the gore effects work which surpasses anything the first two films in the series had. The acting was decent enough with Melinda Clarke as the zombiefied girlfriend putting on a sexy, albeit creepy performance. If it wasn't for the brain and flesh-eating she sure would've made for quite a poster girl for teenage boys.
In the end, Return of the Living Dead III continues the ROTLD series admirably. Despite not having much humor and comedy in the film, this third film in the series more than makes up for it with high levels of gore and a definite sense of horror the first two didn't much have." -- A. Sandoc "sussarakhen" (San Pablo, California United States) - Amazon.com
If it were possible to fall in love with a reanimated object, this film will make you believe. See this film.
 | Actors: Matthew Laborteaux, Kristy Swanson, Michael Sharrett, Anne Twomey, Anne Ramsey Directors: Wes Craven Format: Closed-captioned, Color, Dubbed, DVD-Video, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC Language: English Subtitles: English, French, Spanish Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.) Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1 Number of discs: 1 Rating: Studio: Warner Home Video DVD Release Date: September 25, 2007 Run Time: 90 minutes |
"This film featuring Kristy Swanson as a teenage girl Sam resurrected by her genius friend Paul using his pet robot Bee Bee's brain is an entertaining one. It is based on Diana Henstell novel of the same title. The movie changed the character setting a bit. In the original novel Paul is eleven year old boy but this movie he is a teenager. This film also happened in the shorter period so the decomposition of Sam is not yet fully described which was the key element in original novel. And the last scene is just terrible. But Kristy Swanson is charming even with corpse attire and with revengeful look.
So if you are Kristy Swanson fan this movie is highly recommendable." -- susumu-5 (Japan) - Amazon.com
Oh Kristy Swanson, how I love thee. Before Flowers in The Attic, before Buffy the Vampire Slayer, even before being on Law and Order and CSI there was Deadly Friend. Boy puts robot brain in dead girlfriend to allow her body time to heal, all the while she goes on killing spree when he isn't looking. How far would you go to save the one you love?
This is based on a book? Looks like I'm going to the library.
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